One of the biggest hesitations I see in hiring a birth doula is fear in erasing the partner's role during birth. It's totally understandable; you're going to parent your child together, it should start right away during labor and birth. My response to this concern is always the same: A good doula should make your partner look like a rockstar, not stick them in a corner.
Having a doula is one of the best ways to ensure that your partner is as involved as they want to be during the birth experience. There is no way your partner will (or should) know exactly how to support your ever changing needs during labor! When you hire a birth doula, you hire a partner whisperer, someone who takes their birth-y knowledge and gives your partner the tools to support you regardless of the situation.
A really good doula shares their knowledge with your partner without you even noticing, leaving you wondering how they knew exactly how to support you so well. You'll think, "Oh man, they're going to be such a good parent if they could support me like this so naturally!"
Having that confidence in your partner is crucial heading into the intense first weeks of parenting. A doula can help build your confidence in your partner, as well as their confidence that, yes, they really can do this!
Your doula should be a constant presence, but one that doesn't fill the room. They should let you and your partner be the stars of the show. Birthing your baby is an important moment for your relationship, it shouldn't feel like a threesome, but rather an intimate experience that's being protected for you by your doula.
A doula can help you have much needed alone time during your labor. You may need to make decisions during your birth, a doula can help clear the room for you and your partner to make decisions quietly. They can also help you remember to advocate for the special moments you wanted, whether it's your partner announcing the gender or cutting the cord.
Even more importantly, your doula can help give your partner the physical and emotional support they need as well. Though you're doing a lot of the heavy lifting, this can be an intense transition for your partner too. Having a doula on your birth team ensures you won't be alone if your partner needs to grab food, go for a walk or take a quick power nap. I always remind clients, "I get to go home after your baby is born, but you have to start being parents, one of you should be a little rested!"
Evidence shows that having the constant support of doula improves your birth experience and outcomes. With a doula on your team, there's a 31% decrease in being dissatisfied with your birth experience; 25% decrease in the risk of a Cesarean birth; shorter labor by 41 minutes on average; 10% decrease in use of pain relief medications and more. All of these benefits don't just support you, they ensure your partner has a positive experience as well. A birth doula benefits your entire family.
If you're interested in learning more about doula support, you can read more about what I offer here. Already ready to chat? You can reach out to schedule a consult here!